Showing posts with label Humor-Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor-Satire. Show all posts

Friday, July 19, 2013

People Friendly Police

Efforts of making police people friendly are being materlised. Police in India are much more friendly than any nation of the world. It adopts humantarian attitude in dealing the crime. It reaches on the incident site just after the incident. Allegation of fake encounter is people imagination. Custodial death is propaganda of the people to tranish the image of the police. Prevailing corruption in police is far away from truth. Police personals in the country are hundered percent fit. There is stress on their fitness. They behave decently with pubic. Police never use abusive words against people. No false cases are framed against anyone. No innocent people are caught by the police to show its proactiveness and achievent. Police respect the Human right of the people and never violate it. People believe in police and provide them their full cooperation by providing right information to catch the criminals.

Natural disaster tour

Every one is equal before the law. Our  constitution provides equal opportunity to all its citizen. Whether he is a VIP or common man. But it seems that basic principal of the constitution, is not being followed in the country. Congress general secretry Rahul was allowed disaster tour of Uttarakhand, while Gujrat Chief Minister Narendra Modi was stopped from going there. While all politicians had equally helped victims by taking parts in blame game. All had entertained the vicitim's relatives by verbal exchanges . After a natural disaster, no politician  miss the opportunity of blame game. There is misconception in the country that after natural disaster, all countrymen should be united and they should focuss their attention on relief works. But it means that discrimination should be allowed in the country. In my view, after a disaster all relief works should be stopped and a country wide debate should be started on who should be allowed a natural disaster trip VIPs, political leaders or commonman. This issue should not be left pending. Advertisements should be published in all national daily,  seeking people opinions over this. Seminars should be held in all part of the  country to discuss the issue. Pannel discussion should be organised on all news channels to know the experts views on this. Finally, special session of parliament should be convened to discuss the issue and pass a necessary legislation.  It may be mentioned here that in a free and civilized society, there should place for such debate.  Such dicussions also show that the number of intellectuals are growing in the country. No political meaning should drawn from such discussions. Disaster tour should also be also promoted in the country to revive the country's economy.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

God is in dilemma

God is in dilemma. He is considering about his marketing. How can he be popular among people. In the age of computer, people first love has become internet. People are not showing same faith as they show earlier. People faith is decreasing day by day in god. The reson is, people have become materlistic. They see their instant benifit. Internet is proving helpful for them. It provides help instantly. People have no need to apply their mind. They are able in getting information in just one click. While god does not appear to help after long prayer. People have no time for performing religious rituals. They have no time for reciting mantras. Growing popularity of vritual word is major cause of concern for god, beacuse it has emerged as a main rival for him. People are spending their lot of time on facebook and on other sites. So god is thinking to made his own ID . God is also worried that his popularity is decreasing in so-called progressive people. While his popularity is growing in evil persons. They are performing yagya to please him. In the past god was popular among all. The big question before god is that whom should he favoure. He should favour those who are on right path or those who do not value to ethical norms. So-called intectualls do not show respect in him . They are denying his existence .If he helps worng doers then they will ultimately challenge world order. God has promised to sadhu(saints) to protect them from evils. But he could not help them because from it, worng doers may leave his worship.The solution of this problem seems to be advertisment. he will publice advertisnent in all national daily and TV channels. Apart fron it, he will tell some easy method of worshiping. He is considering to live at tourist destination so that people easily get him. He does not want that only handful people know him. n

Thursday, July 11, 2013

China is trustworthy.

Chinese troops once again intruded into Indian territory. Many conclusions were being drawn ,being an expert i have also drawn some conclusions. These are, it means relation between two countries, is improving. To show this, chinese troops intruded into Indian territory. It also means  Defence Minister AK ANTONY
visit has been highly successful and it has proved a mile stone in normalizing the relations between two countries. It also means that China is trustworthy nation. Its words match with deeds. The country should not see China as a threat . It also means that China
follows the international norms and respects the sovereignty of a nation.



Monday, July 8, 2013

Importace of fasting

Emergency has been declared. My civil right has been suspended. Charges are being framed. There is complete choas and and confusion at my home. Heavy paramilitary force have been deployed at my residence. My empire has been overthrown by my wife. Accusing that i am not able to take advantage of right occasion. I am going to appeal in husband commission because i am being tortured. I am being forced to go on fasting. Importance of fasting is being telecasted by wife, sons and daughters. They want that i should upgrade their status in society. They aIso want that i should highlight their name and fame by going on fasting. They also want that i should make my supreme sacrifice for the family. They say that i had lost the chance last year when Anna Hazare was on fasting, Arvind Kejariwal was on fasting. My wife says that i may get ticket of Aam Aadmi Party. But the problem is that i can not live without food for one day. Despite knowing that there is importance of fasting in life. It purifies our body and mind. I can not go on fasting. But as i earlier said my wife is extremly unhappy with me because She wants that i should immediatelly start fasting to get a take ticket .  She says that with fast, i will be successful in killing two birds with one sto ne. One hand my health will improve, On the other hand i will earn name and fame. She also says that i do not  change myself according to time. She says that despite name and fame Baba Ramdev could not leave the lure of fasting. She also says that i should also become active. She also describe the importance of fasting.  She says that from fasting one can make his body slim.  She also says that it is also possible that Arvind Kejariwal may recognise my talent and may give me ticket.  I will not go on fasting with my desire. If i go on fasting, you should understand that i have not gone on fasting with my own desire. You should understand that i have been forced to do so. I will say to you
, please register an FIR against my family members in case of my demise. I will also  appeal please pray for my departed soul. My family member will probably not do so, beacuse i could not highlight their name. I could not fullfil their desire.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

India is making progress

India is making progress. To see it, you will have to develop third eyes. You will have to be reseach minded. You will have to keep wisdom.
How can you see the progress of the country with your closed eyes.  You will have to open your eyes. You will have to develop your sixth sense. Those who are not seeing the progress of the country, are not in jolly mood. They are sad. The people of  negative mindset say that glass is half empaty while the people of positive mindset say that glass is half full. If your mood is fine  then every thing will seem happy.  You will see beauty in everything. If you will  be in sad mood everything will look ugly.
After adopting lebralization policy, nearly 20 percentage people made progress rapidlly. They change their cars like clothes. They wear branded clothes.  Is it not progress ?The progress of the country can be seen in slum areas. You can also know the progress of the country in poverty index. Progress can be also known in child labour index, the number of unemployed youths also present rosy picture of the progress. The real progress can be also seen in pathetic condition of the farmers.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

China is playing a role of big brother

China does not believe in man made boundry of nation. Instead , China sees the whole world as a nation. Chinese intrusion should be seen in a broder perspective.  Through intrusion China expresses its love towards neighbours. It is an expression of brotherhood policy. In my view, So- called intrusion is a part of propaganda of its opponents, especially the western world. For China, the whole world is a like a family. Being a big brother China has some special role to play. China teaches its neighbour by its hard stance that they should  not keep narrow-mindness and they should accept Chinease supermacy. All neighbours should leave their security responsibilities to China. China is producing weapons of mass destruction for the securirty and stability of the world. China is singing  popular number meri chhatri ke niche aa ja (come under my umbrella. Due to short -sightness and narrow mindness the world is not able in understanding the humantatrian attitude of China. A man of narrow mind set only sees fault in China. It is beyond my understanding that when the world is shrinking into a village. What is need of such negative attitude. Such people are actually not progressive.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Don't provoke, China general warns India

China has issued strong warning  saying that India should stop provking China.  China further said that it it is up to India to take a positive step in this regard. In my view, India should try to normalize relations with China To pacify China 'Hind china bhai- bhai mantra' should be recited. It had yielded result in past. The importance of this mantra has been seen . India has been reciting this mantra since begning. In 1962, this mantra stoped Chinese aggression and intrusion into Indian territory. It could  not capcture the whole India due to impact of this mantra. Whenever China became aggressive Indian leadership recited this mantra whole heartedly. Those who know the power of this mantra, know that, this can do wonder. This can change impossible into possible. This mantra chanting should be made compulsory to every citizen, seeing its importance. Those who deny to chant, should be punished. Indin leadership should search a new mantra to Pakistan. Whenever Pakistan open fire accross the border the Indian leadership may start reciting this discovered new mantra. Then indians may proudly say that the country has searched new way to establish peace and stability in the world.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Who will be my scapegoat.

Dear countrymen
Namaskar
As you know, i have been implicated in a false  case by my political opponnents. This is a politically motivated step of my political rivals. They want to tranish my image through false propaganda. I offer a golden opportunity for  jobless people, who are spending their  life in hardship to come near me by becomig scapegoat.  By taking my all faults on his own head. For kindly your informatin, i will say that one has required prior appointment to meet me. I do not meet anyone regularly excep a few my flatters. I also know this, thousands will be ready for this noble cause. Because those who are spending their life in hardship, have no option. Let me further clear here, I
am in seach of a scapegoat, who could take my all fault on his own head. I will be thankful for him. I will provide all type of assistance to his family. I will also provide all comfort to him in jail. He may use mobile phones in jail premises. Even he may eat his favourite dishes as per his desire. I know this is land of brave person. Surely someone will come in my rescue and he will take all my charge on his own head. Once again appealing your cooperation on humantatrian goround.
Your own leader
XYZ.

Newly built road was damaged.

News was being telecast by TV news  Channels that a few day later, newly built road was damaged. News anchers are claiming  this as his own  breaking story. In my view, there is no news in it. Such things have not happened first time.  This often happens.The mater was being exgaggrated unnecessarily.
A few were criticrising the government while other were coming down heavily on contractors. Many conclusions were being drown. But my view was different from all. In my view, people  have  no patience nowdays. They are not ready to wait. They want quick result from all things. Despite knowing that there is a great importance of patience in life. It may be possible that in road construction latest techonology has been used. It is also possible that It may reconstruct itself.  Because in the age of technology, everything is possible. Some people have no broder sense. They are not able in seeing merit in anything. Critics also do not know this truth that there is nothing parmanent in this world. Every thing is mortal here.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Progress in Pakistan

Anyone may impress seeing Pakistan's excellent track record in all field, specially in terrorism sector. All nations have lagged far behind. After partion and becoming an independent state, Pakistan has made all round fast progress. The reason of rapid progres   is its development oriented policy. The standandard of living of Pakistan, has been satisfactory, specially in Pak occupied Kashmir. Pakistan has hugely invested in terrorism sector and presently the country is getting its reward as US assistance.
The army also actively participate in administrative work. To boost the moral of the people, Pakistani soldiers fire on Indian post. To provide feel good to the countrymen the relations with India is strained. To show the strenth of the country, Pak provokes terrorists to kill innocent people in India. Sometimes military took the power of the civilian government into its hand to demonstrate the power of the country. Pak has empowered fundamentalists, showing sympathy towards humanity. Pak has developed two centre of power in its country, which is working better there. Pak has proved this old saying untrue that two kings destroy the kingdom.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Journey in Indian railway

If you are considering for a journey in Indian railway. Think twice.  You will have to make strategy.  Without strategy your journey may be painful .You will have to do some home work. Second thing, your journey may be tough like climbing on Everest. You will have to prepare for all situtation.  Reach at station twelve hours after the shedule time. Despite that you may wait hours  at station. Practice yoga and meditation three months  before to develop patience. Go to government hospital for treatment where you would have to wait for hours to get a treatment. listen dhimi gati (slow motion )news. Visit  slum areas. Spend time before heap of garbage. Develop hobby of playing chess and  card. Leave tasty food and eat worst quality food. These preparations are necessary because when you face  first time such
thing do not be nervous.



Monday, July 1, 2013

Political leaders are meditating

Political leaders in India, are meditative state. They are searching  solution of cross border terrorism. Their medition
will yied result because they are in medition for a long time, since independence. In the mean time, the people of country are concerned about the country,s security, because Pakistan,s misadventre is not going to end. Firig from the across the border is incresing day by day. Trerrorist  camps are still being operated from Pak occupied Kashmir. There is a growing demand in the counry that Pak should be taught a lesson. But those who are raising such demand, have no patience and wisdom. While Indian leaders have develop their patience through meditation. Those who are raising such demands, do not know the result of it. They have no political maturity.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

How to build equal society

To bring equality in society equal right should be provided to all citizen. Without it, a hormonious society can not be built. For examle, in our  country,  there is no equal right to  all citizen . Because there is no equal right of loot here . On a simple incient of loot hue and cry is made but in big loot pol e are seen ineffective . This  attiude  sends negative singles among youths. As a result young talanent does not get enough inspiration from present system.  In a developed society no right of people is curtailed.  The government provides right to be corroupt to its all citizen. A protest march was taken out by a group of people in all part of the country, demanding equal right to all. Expert also feel that without providing
 right to all the country can not be made a developed nation in absence of equal right, making an ideal society will be distant dream. Without equal right the potential of the country can be used. Experts also say that it is not in the larger interest of country to keep deprived  people from such right. Experts also advise pepole not to be idiolistic type of person and be practical in achieving the goal. Because in today's world your sucess is counted with your result not with your value based life style. Exprtys also predict that idealistic type of person would soon lose their existence from this earth.
They also say that some peoole are creating unnessary disturbances by raising question of morality. People are being united for their right..
.They know that their rights are being curtailed by the state. They are of the view that polical leaders are trying to divert them from their  right of loot. People say that they would dethrown them. They say that they would vote in favour of those leaders who would promise to provide  them
right to loot . Experts are of the view that the world can be made equal through corruption. They also say that there is no inportance of of moral value in todas world.  Morality is mantra of falure peoole. Sucessfull people do not talk of morality .Jobless talk about morality. They raise the question of equality.

Friday, June 14, 2013

India to be world's most populous nation by 28

India to be world's most populous nation by 28 - the biggest achievement of the country.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Learn from Indian leaders


The world can learn many things from Indian leaders. One can learn observing bandh and protest march. Indian leaders have power to force the shopkeepers to shut down their shops. They have capabilities to paralyzed normal life through staging dharana and protest march. Indian leaders do not mind inconvenience of Senior citizen and sick person. Their protest march is more necessary than getting treatment of a sick person. The administration remains mute during demonstration and bandh. Every political party has power to show its strength by organizing a grand rally in the state capital or national capital. Even ruling party can show its strength through state sponsored bandh. Political leaders do not mind financial loss of the state. People around the world may mesmerize to see the strength of the political parties and their leaders. Indian parliamentarians are able in stopping the functioning of parliament. They have power of slogan shouting in the house. They can throw chairs and mikes to each other. Even they can ignore the repeated requests of speaker. They can walkout from the house as per their desires. They can ignore the popular demand of strong lokpal. They can remain on their posts, despite having serious allegation against them. Morality can not force them to resign from their posts. They can become super rich in short span of time, after becoming MLAs or Mps. They are able in winning the election, despite serious allegation against them. An American parliamentarian after watching the functioning of parliament said "in India parliamentarians have great power. No doubt they are talented. They use their full capacity. They do not seat in the house like statute. They actively participate in the proceedings. They throw chairs and mikes on each other for better result. They are perfect role model for the rest of the world." American parliamentarian further said that he also wanted such system In America. I would bring a legislation in American parliament and would meet to president Obama to discuss on the issue.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Learn Pressure handling from N Srinivasan

In sports arena Mr. N Srinivasan has emerged as a hero. He is going to create history for reaming on his post for a long period. All bowlers had been failed in leaving any impact on him. All strategies had been proved ineffective. The concern might be seen on bowlers faces. The entire nation was worried. Everyone wanted his retirement from the post of BCCI chief. But BCCI chief was remained unaffected. People were bored with his batting. Because he was not contributing in total score. People were shouting slogan against him. They were also hooting. BCCI chief and Indian captain were fully unaffected from the happenings. There was no pressure on the faces of both great men. Contrary to it, there was satisfaction on their faces. They were seen boosting the moral of Indian cricket lovers, saying that Fixing had not harmed Indian cricket any way. So Do not be worry just take it easy and enjoy the game. No doubt Indians were not happy with BCCI chief because he had declined to resign from his post on moral ground. But people forgot the qualities of BCCI chief. He has mastery in pressure handling. All round pressure was being mounted on him to resign. Many articles were written in News papers advising him to resign. Allegations were labelled on him and it was being said that morality had not remained in him. Despite all round pressure, this brave man remained on his post showing that Morality is only illusion. It is imagination of the people. In the meantime Rajiv Shukla could not bear the pressure and he was bold out on a fine delivery. In my view, instead of searching fault in BCCI chief. We should try to learn something from him. One can learn pressure handling from him. He should be invited at all premier institutes of the country to deliver lecture on pressure handling. No doubt in coming days people would recognize his talent. Young India can learn so many things from him.By following his footprints one can be successful in his life. Thanks to match fixing Thank to Sreesanth. from

Monday, June 3, 2013

Scorpio

A Tsunami may hit your family this week. The epicenter of it, would be your home.You may be in doldrums. As your wife is making plan to leave you and marrying with her boy friend. Do not worry. Remember there is nothing permanent in this world. Every thing is mortal. If your wife want to live you just do her. Forget her   seven vachan ( both had recited at the time of marriage). Take life easy and allow to pass off these events peacefully.  It is time of  liberation. You may liberate from washing her clothes. From cooking delicious food for her. And from spending three fourth salary on her branded clothes. on her  party . On her cosmetics.  You can be free from all responsibilities. You may be out from slowdown. Do not suppress her will . Be grateful that  Due to her your ignorance was disappeared. Try to forget all bad experiences through imagination.  Imagine that a dream girl would come in your life and She would fill you with happiness.and she would live permanently. She would not forced you to wash her cloth. To cook food for her.
Do it with full concentration  Believing that imagination has power and imagination change into reality.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Stars speak

Your stars do not seem in your favour this week.Your wife may leave you. Beware you may be beaten up by your wife this week. Do not go outside alone. Your wife may suspect at you. Praise her beauty whenever you get chance. Compare her beauty with moon. Try to become romantic poet in her praise.  Buy valuable gifts for her. Do not stop her from doing any work. Do not invite inconvenience by interfering in her work.Take her on outside tour. Close your eyes whenever you see a girl there. Cook favorite food for her. Do every effort to please her. Perform special religious rituals to save himself from her. Promise to build a Tajmahal in her memory after her demise. God bless you.  

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Modi and Nitish were expelled.


In a surprise move Bhartiya Janta Party (BJP) and Janta Dal United (JDU) both expelled their heavy weight leader like Gujrat chief minister Narendra Modi and Bihar Chief Minister Nitish Kumar. However both parties had said that both leaders would compete their full term and assembly election would be contested under their leadership.
Accepting the truth that both leaders were popular among people as well as in party both parties said that although they were working well in their respective states but in effort of wooing supports of others party’s leaders they were spending sleepless night. Party felt that both leaders may fall sick in efforts of becoming prime minister so the decision of their expulsion was taken.
BJP and JDU said that by becoming over- ambitious they were hurting the interest of the other party leader apart from their own health.
Both party also justified their steps on traditional ground saying that Indian lifestyles teach us to be patience and leave the over ambition. But both leaders were not ready to leave their ambition.
Parties also advised both leaders to practice yoga regularly so that they could leave the lure of Prime Minister Post.

Ending all speculation both Narendra Modi and Nitish Kumar said that they will continue working in the party’s interest as they are true soldiers of the party.
Taking U-turn supporters of both Narendra Modi and Nitish Kumar had changed their loyalty and they were being seen in other leader’s camps.  
In a press note both party justified their actions saying that it was necessary in the larger interest of the both parties. 
Leaders of both parties also blamed that both leaders were making other party leaders irrelevant by their style of functioning as both leaders were trusting on officers instead of party leaders. other party also said that the step is in coalition interest and for internal democracy of both parties.